The thirty-seventh installment of the slash fiction novel, The Secret Agent and the Assassin. There’s no smut but I am so excited about this chapter. I’ve been waiting for this since I started this beast <3
HI we are going to talk about Nikolai’s family. These aren’t really spoilers because I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to include the section where Nikolai meets his family, but Nikolai does eventually talk about them, so if you want a surprise you’re welcome to wait until after the novel address them, but it’ll probably be pretty anti-climatic. We’re actually going to be answering questions 27 & 28 from this meme.
What do you know about this character now that s/he doesn’t yet know?
What is this character’s greatest flaw?
What do you know about this character that s/he would never admit?
What is this character’s greatest asset?
If this character could choose a different identity, who would s/he be?
What music does this character sing to when no one else is around?
In what or whom does this character have the greatest faith?
What is this character’s favorite movie?
Does this character have a favorite article of clothing? Favorite shoes?
Does this character have a vice? Name it.
Name this character’s favorite person (living or dead).
What is this character’s secret wish?
What is this character’s proudest achievement?
Describe this character’s most embarrassing moment.
What is this character’s deepest regret?
What is this character’s greatest fear?
Describe this character’s most devastating moment.
What is this character’s greatest achievement?
What is this character’s greatest hope?
Does this character have an obsession? Name it.
What is this character’s greatest disappointment?
What is this character’s worst nightmare?
Whom does this character most wish to please? Why?
Describe this character’s mother.
Describe this character’s father.
If s/he had to choose, with whom would this character prefer to live?
Where does this character fall in birth order? What effect does this have?
Describe this character’s siblings or other close relatives.
Describe this character’s bedroom. Include three cherished items.
What is this character’s birth date? How does this character manifest traits of his/her astrological sign?
If this character had to live in seclusion for six months, what six items would s/he bring?
Why is this character angry?
What calms this character?
Describe a recurring dream or nightmare this character might have.
List the choices (not circumstances) that led this character to his/her current predicament.
List the circumstances over which this character has no control.
What wakes this character in the middle of the night?
How would a stranger describe this character?
What does this character resolve to do differently every morning?
Who depends on this character? Why?
If this character knew s/he had exactly one month to live, what would s/he do?
How would a dear friend or relative describe this character?
What is this character’s most noticeable physical attribute?
What is this character hiding from him/herself?
Write one additional thing about your character.
I wonder if this will even work.
Yes this will be my 700th post. Because fuck it why not. And uh since I keep my characters to myself, usually, I’ll give a list of some of them (and if you somehow know another character I don’t list here, I will still answer with them). Maybe will draw some out if wanted. But those will come tomorrow. I want to toss these suckers around because I miss thinking about them. (random questions unrelated to these above are cool too)
Abel - rich douchebag asshole who is tall and wears a tie Mark - nearly an alcoholic and he’s a wuss and also he’s Finnish Gil - dork who doesn’t know the difference between friends and crushes Natalie - loves fashion and is proud of her body yes best character Isabella - rich sister who’s an actress and can be a snob sometimes Lucien - crossdressing and effeminate French guy who loves cooking and spying Red - short punk dude who suffers from psychosis Maroon - great drummer lesbian with a tall mohawk and works that somehow Leila - created from an experiment where a furry wanted to make a kawaii wolf girl which instead turned into this fine lady who kicks ass and does not hesitate to show how assertive she is Id/Strawberry Killer - human-beast thing that used to live in the woods and kill people and bathe in their blood and all that nice stuff Vinny - pokemon oc who loves rock music and being a hipster (his adventure is not far yet and all he has are Rascal the Charmander and Disco the Pikachu) Maine - pokemon oc who came from Unova and has an Oshawott and a Pidove
Who am I kidding no one cares okay maybe a few people.
Tumblr keeps deleting my comments asjdhsfdjg. I’m probably going to reply to these on Friday to go along with the character facts, and when I’m stumped about what to write, then I’ll probably just respond to one of these anyway even if no one has asked!
Is there anything you’d like to hear about for this week’s character fact Fridays? I may or may not have temporarily run out of ideas. Please feel free to ask stupid questions that will be fun to answer. You can also leave them in my askbox, I don’t mind one bit.
I just got a comment on a MFU short story noting that grinded isn’t a real word, and ground is the word I’m actually looking for! Word’s dictionary claims it’s a real word (which is probably why I never thought twice about it), but Opera and WordWeb do not. I double checked with a few sources, and apparently grinded has not made “real word” status. So I’ve updated my Word dictionary to mark it as incorrect! From now on, any edited versions and new material will use “ground” instead of “grinded.” I will not be updating whatever has already been posted, just because it’ll mean me going through 59 posts. I would rather it be up there as a badge of my horrible spelling forever.
Sorry about my mistake though! Hopefully none of you mind if I switch to using the proper word!
It should be noted that it was just a few months ago when I realized “creeped” wasn’t a word. I always knew about “crept,” but “creeped” sounded so much better. Sometimes it baffles me that I have an education at all, ahahaha!
I’m not sure if I’ll bother to post this on the main site, but I wanted to apologize somewhere, so you guys get stuck with it.
OKAY SO I finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy a little while ago and of course I immediately put Nikolai and Guy there. It should be noted that I loved the series and its universe. Also I have three different scenarios for them.
Ahhh! I recommend giving fps another chance - I used to HATE them, but now some of my favourite games are fps? Like Fallout 3, anything by Valve (like Portal 2, Half Life 2, TF2, etc), Mass Effect. I am totally against those generic war fps though, haha, I would like a plot please and thank you :B
Ahhh, yes, that’s another thing that I have a hard time with in FPS is the lack of a plot, so thank you for suggesting some with plot! I’ll definitely look into them when I have time to play video games. I really, really want to play Portal 2 though because I am madly in love with Stephen Merchant.
(Is Portal 2 actually considered a FPS though? Or is it more of a first person something else? For some reason I always thought of it more as being like Myst, which I don’t stress out about as much. It’s the actual shooting and having people all around me that freaks me out. If I’m playing video games, I want better vision than my own.)
I used to be hardcore into FPS back in elementary school, but as I got older I just lost all the hand-eye co-ordination for it? I also get really anxious and sweaty playing them now. Part of it is I’m hyper competitive when it comes to video games, so I have to play them alone or on a team or else I become a horrible human being and probably possessed by Lucifer. I’ll have to try some of the single missions again for the games you suggested to get back into the groove of things.
So thank you for the suggestions! And sorry for the super long reply apparently I always ramble. I’ll do my best to try them out <33
2. A selection of musical artists you do not care for.
There isn’t a specific genre I don’t like? My mom loves country so I have to admit it’s grown on me. And there’s some rap I definitely like. I think there’s exceptions in every genre, and off the top of my head I can’t think of any musician I hate purely because of their music? Usually I hate them for other reasons as well.
I guess I don’t like covers a lot? Unless they completely reinterpret the song in a new way and are worth analyzing (like a lot of ska covers?), but mindless poppy covers that homogenizes music kind of pisses me off.
4. A hobby you “don’t get”.
Hehehe, I like that we both asked each other something that betsy already asked us.
7. Your favorite household chore.
I am totally okay with washing dishes by hand, so long as I’m not washing someone else’s stuff they’re too lazy to wash but I have to wash because I want to use the dish and maybe they used every other kind of that dish. Then I become a very angry dish washer.
I’m also pretty happy vacuuming, it’s just the process of dragging out the vacuum and unplugging and replugging it in because the cord won’t reach that wears me out. Also if there’s a lot of crap laying around then I get frustrated vacuuming too. Okay maybe I don’t like vacuuming that much. I like vacuuming open spaces that can be reached without moving the cord too much.
13. Musical artists you love but have gotten shit for liking.
Ahahahaha, Canadian Bluegrass bands.
I love love love love The Weakerthans, and people have either a) never heard of them and assume I’m a hipster or b) thought they’re really boring and dumb. I’m pretty sure they’re actually classified as “indie rock” which makes sense (I first heard them on a punk collection CD), but they’re generally considered too slow for rock and whatnot. I’m a big fan of lyrics when it comes to music, so they really appeal to me. They’re also the only band I go out of my way to see live anymore.
I also secretly listen to Wizard Rock when my roommate is out and I have dishes to wash. I don’t think it qualifies because no one gives me shit because no one will ever know. Aside from you guys now, I guess. Whoops.
I have to agree with you, I’m not sure I have one. Sometimes I “don’t get” why certain people have certain hobbies, but I think I can grasp why people have them? It probably doesn’t help that I am a bit of a hamster when it comes to ~*things*~ (especially things with history), so any form of collecting is totally okay with me.
I guess what I don’t get is when people fail to have any hobbies or interests. I’ve met people that are extremely difficult to talk to because they pretty much just live to socialize and drink. Or maybe that’s a hobby in itself, who knows!
14. A hobby you have/find interesting that other people bother you over/make fun of.
Pretty much the internet. Moreso back in 2000 when the Internet was moreso based in nerd-dom and my neighbour had to go to the library to send me an e-mail, but the majority of people still make fun of me for having friends I’ve only met on the internet. I almost always get the old man joke, which usually backfires because I would totally be okay with being friends with a creepy old man on the internet. Betsy you can admit you’re a creepy old man anytime I will still love you.
Again, like the cartoons, it helps that my friends are generally okay with it, but it still takes them a while to warm-up to some of my internet friend stories. Especially the ones that went horribly wrong and hilarious.
Sorry these answers are so long I need a break from work, ahahaha.
First person shooters. Although Team Fortress 2 has a fantastic fandom, and I’m sure the game is great.
12. Television programs you love but have gotten shit for liking.
Cartoons. I got made fun of a lot when I was younger, but not so much now? Luckily, I have friends who’ll just spend the day and watch Beasties with me (until we go out for a drink to make us feel like adults, of course). But every once and a while I’ll still get a bit of a shit for it. I’m not overly open about it, but it’s pretty obvious on the internets.
For some examples, I rewatch Cybersix a lot, I still watch the 80s Transformers (my brother gave me the set for Christmas!), the 90s X-Men, X-Men: Evolution, and Cowboy Bebop, of course. I watched a lot of Teletoon Retro before I moved!
YES HE DOES AND I completely forgot, he reads a TON to his daughter. He tries to pass on his love of books to Steffie, and a lot of times when he’s reading Harry Potter, he’ll talk a lot about Rowling’s influences which gets him going on Greek and Roman Mythology and whatnot.
It actually works well with Steffie, because now she tries to read a lot so that she can do the same things with her friends when they’re reading something popular. She’s kind of a smart-ass really, and it’s not much of a hit with her friends, but she still likes the feeling of superiority that she gets, even if she’s just parroting what her dad says.
Guy also likes having Steffie around because it gives him an excuse to read a lot of Children’s and Young Adult literature. Steffie never really got into comics, but he always hopes it’ll grow on her so he can use her as an excuse to read more.
Steffie also really likes being read to - when she was younger, Guy would even make special voices for each character, and read most of the Harry Potter series to her with a British accent. (Nikolai, too, likes Guy reading to him, and would probably be really interested in Harry Potter. He currently avoids it because he considers it too much of a “kid’s book.” He’s also not too interested in fantasy and sci-fi, he likes more realistic books.)
This probably won’t ever get directly addressed in the story, so I thought I’d dedicate one of these to it. This is about Nikolai and his unwillingness to perform oral sex. Obviously this update talks about explicit sexual acts, just as a heads up.
For some reason I’m working 12 hour night shifts this week I’m not sure how it ended up this way. Tomorrow I’m still working the same shift, but from home because my near-toothless cat swallowed a twist-tie and the emerg vet said just to keep an eye out for blood in her stool. Obviously allowed to ditch work to take her to the vet if blood does occur.
Plus side is I should actually be able to afford vet bills if things go wrong.
Just posting a message here so everyone knows why I am missing forever. Also I would not turn down pity. Nikoguy update is almost done, I might cut it off early if I run out of time.
Now I am going to try to sleep and hope worry does not devour up my very important sleep time. Considering not changing into my pyjamas and just sleeping in work clothes.
You are probably not still doing these. But. I've been curious about 15.
I’LL DO THIS ONE because I love answering it (and I have some time to kill before work). I’m assuming you mean “xisney,” right?
I took a class on Disney (the man, the movies, the theme park, the culture, etc) and we discussed how in the original ending of Fantasia they planned to have all the Disney princesses walk out with their husbands and with babies in their arms. But I guess Disney and a bunch of other people shot the idea down because it sexualized the princesses and removed their innocence, because to have babies you’d have to have sex (presumably, anyway.) I was pretty sure it was an awesome ending regardless.
So I got it into my head that it would be a great idea to write about the princesses after they had their “Happily Ever After”, where they struggle to come to term with being Princesses, having sex, having children, and the like. I assumed they’d each have their own unique struggle as well, such as in Beauty and the Beast the Beast would still be aggressive and violent. I think I was going to do foot fetishes for Cinderella, and Snow White was going to struggle with being idle and isolated, since she was so used to working and chatting it up with the dwarves and wildlife and whatnot.
But there was still going to be a huge focus on porn. My goal was to deflower the princesses and strip them of their innocence. So I picked the name “xisney” because it was Disney with an “x” which generally represents porn if there’s three “x”es or whatever. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I started on The Little Mermaid, but another project took over (likely something to do with school, I don’t really remember) and it’s been on the back burner since. However, I already registered the name xisney on a lot of sites so I stuck with it, and I always planned to come back to this project when I had more free time. I still hope to as well <3
13: I’m assuming we mean material possessions? There actually isn’t a lot I want, I’m pretty easy to please, to be honest. I guess I’d like the whole collection of Man from UNCLE books. The last two books are really rare, and they’re around $40 a book. I can’t justify spending that kind of money on pulp fiction. It’s a tragedy.
36: I pretty much always have some sort of story idea going on in my head. I’m constantly plotting and creating and it’s sort of annoying because I space out and then I can’t explain to people why I’ve spaced out because I don’t want to say “I’m sorry, I was busy writing gay porn in my head.”
The other answer is Robert Vaughn. Seriously it is a curse how often I can bring him up in conversation. I’m lucky I have the friends I do. (Also they often mix together, though it’s generally the characters he plays and not him personally.)
abstinence only sex education sucks ass. my parents were good about talking to my bro and i about sex, but there are a lot of things that they didn’t know to tell us because culture changes so much over like 30 years.
this is all stuff i learned myself over three or four years of research, experience, and constant desire to learn in spite of all of the people who told me not to. honestly, there are so many useful things that can be taught if we stop pretending sex is this evil monster that causes problems for anyone who does it if they’re not married and heterosexual.
sex is not the enemy, misinformation about sex is.
there are safer ways to have sex. instead of concentrating on the ways to safely have sex, abstinence-only sex ed concentrates on “don’t get pregnant it sucks.” there are a lot of ways to make sex safe, like complete consent, communication, and going gradually. safe sex isn’t just about not getting an std or pregnant, it’s also about not hurting yourself and making sure each party involved is comfortable!
there are ways to have sex besides missionary penis-in-vagina intercourse. there are a whole multitude of ways to have sex, and it’s honestly necessary to know what your options are before you engage in sexual conduct. anal sex, oral sex, intercrural sex, manual sex, using toys or dildos, and even mutual masturbation are options, as long as they’re done safely. there’s no such thing as the “full” sex or “right” sex.
I try to keep reblogs to a minimum, but this is well worth reading regardless of your current sexual experience. I’ve personally been a bit anxious about some of these things as of late, and it really helped me relax. This was a post I needed to read today, and I really appreciate the poster taking the time to write it, so it’s only fair that I spread it around.
So if you have the time to spare, I suggest checking it out!
Sorry, I’m feeling particularly brain-dead today, and if you’d like to contribute, I could use a fake name for a delivery company. It’s a smaller mom-and-pop sort of corporation - no fancy uniforms, just a hat and jacket with a patch noting the company name. It can definitely be sexually suggestive or just a plain-Jane name.